Pa

Most days I hated you, I even told myself you hated me.

Most nights we yelled, and screamed, just short of clawing at each other. I can understand your frustration, your need to protect and your desire to control.

You grew to understand my wants, my sorrows and my need to let go.

It took us a while to get to where we are, to learn from each other and to grow as a pair.

To all those nights you stayed up and cradled me to sleep.

To all those nights you stayed up writing my abc’s.

To all those nights you stayed up, wondering when I’ll be home.

I salute you dear father for showing you cared.

I couldn't see it then, I sometimes struggle to see it now, but looking back at those days and those nights and those glistening cheeks that bore hints of a tear, I know I was loved.

I know I was safe.

So this is a thank you. From your daughter to you.

For letting me go find my way and for always being nothing less than a phone call away.

I love you, God knows neither one of us says that enough.

But I love you and I know you love me more than just being obligated to.

So please ignore all the erratic teenage tantrums I once had,

the “I hate you’s” and the “You don't understand’s."

For I love you father, for understanding.

I love you for having grown with me rather than just watching me grow.

I love you for loving my mother, for loving my sisters, for the sacrifices you’ve made and for never acknowledging them to be sacrifices.

I love you.

And now, with us girls having left, you stand by our rooms wondering how it all got so quiet so sudden.

I want you to always remember and take me on my word Pa, you not only let us fly but you helped push us off the edge and leap.

And that kind of love is exactly what will bring us home again.