I could feel her breath on the back of my neck as we both pretended to be asleep. Her hand softly resting on my hip. I knew if I gasped right then, I’d give myself away. So I held my breath while she traced her fingers along my my spine. I want to be able to put into words, the fire I felt in my stomach as she knowingly tortured me in that space of ours. Of hers.
So I did what felt right and I turned around, clumsily and quickly. And I stared right into her hazel brown eyes and watched her bite down on her lower lip and smile. How she could manage a smile like that and still send shivers down my spine, God only knew. So I leaned in, towards this woman, completely hypnotized by her ways, and slowly brushed my lips against hers. For a second, she moved not an inch from where she lay and with eyes open, she pulled away.
Panic sets in and I begin to retreat, having completely misread her signals. But just as I’m about to bury myself in the covers, I feel her soft hand lift my chin and wipe away tears I wasn't even aware I had been crying. She pulls me into her warmth and holds me for what feels like a lifetime. I cringe knowing I have to let go at some point. Not knowing how much longer I had with her, I reveled in the moment. Taking in her scent, her feel, her voice. I willed myself to memorize every inch of her body from the lip biting, to the fidgety fingers, to the mole on the back of her neck, to the feel of her legs entwined in mine. And so I did.
My sobs began to soften as she rocked me to sleep and I decided in that moment that I would embarrass myself one more time. So I made the switch to self destruct and found my way in, yet again. My lips desperately reaching for hers. I will never forget the look in her eyes as I prepared myself for another rejection. It seemed as though she was almost amused by me. I gave it not a second thought and dove in, and this time, this time she kissed me back. Seconds passed as we both lay there, hands held, legs entwined, lips barely touching, but close enough to taste each other.